Creating New Traditions After Divorce

After a separation or divorce, the holiday season can feel like a hollow echo of what used to be. The routines are different. The faces around the table have changed. Even the decorations can bring tears to your eyes.

And when the new year begins, you’re left wondering: What now?

One of the most complex parts of this season is realizing that the old traditions may no longer fit your life. But here’s the good news—you can create new ones. And in the process, you’ll find ways to honor your story and start writing a new chapter.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start small.

Why new traditions matter

Your former life likely included holiday routines you built with your ex. Maybe you took the kids to pick out a tree together, hosted the family dinner, or watched the same movie on Christmas Eve. But now those traditions might be painful—or impossible.

Creating new traditions gives you a way to celebrate what you do have instead of focusing on what you’ve lost. They can help:

• Reduce painful emotional triggers
• Give your kids (or yourself!) something to look forward to
• Mark a fresh start in your healing journey
• Shift your focus from grief to gratitude

“Creating new traditions is helpful because it gives me a way to celebrate what I do have instead of what I don’t have,” says Monica, a DivorceCare participant.

Ideas from people who’ve been there

Not sure where to begin? Here are a few new traditions others have found healing:

• Breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve. One mom and her kids cooked pancakes and eggs in their pajamas while watching their favorite Christmas movie. Now, it’s their favorite part of the season.
• Mini Christmas trees in the kids’ bedrooms. Each child decorated their tree with ornaments they chose—some of which reminded them of their other parent. It helped them feel connected and in control.
• Serving others. One family visited a local assisted living home to sing carols on Christmas morning. Shifting the focus to helping others brought unexpected joy.
• A winter hike and bonfire. One woman began a tradition of spending New Year’s Day outdoors. She says it reminds her that life keeps moving forward—and so can she.

“I met another single mom. We began traditions together, like building candied houses with our kids.” Jan

Give yourself permission

As you think about starting something new, remember:

• You don’t have to do it all. Keep it simple and manageable.
• You don’t have to get it right the first time. If something doesn’t work this year, try something different next year.
• You can hold on to some old traditions, too. It’s okay to keep what still brings you comfort—and let go of what doesn’t.

Don’t worry about what the holidays “should” look like. It’s okay to grieve and to celebrate, too.

You don’t have to go through this alone

Creating new traditions after divorce can feel easier when you have support from people who understand what you’re going through. That’s why DivorceCare groups exist.

Each week, you’ll connect with others who are rebuilding their lives after separation or divorce—people who get it. Together, you’ll find strength, direction, and yes, even hope.

Find a DivorceCare group near you.

A new beginning is possible

Starting over isn’t easy. With God’s help—and the support of others—you can create new traditions that bring peace, connection, and even joy.

You’re not alone, stuck, or forgotten.

This season can be different and your new traditions might be the start of something beautiful.