For many people, the holidays bring images of togetherness—family gatherings, warm traditions, and joyful memories. But when you’re facing the holidays after a separation or divorce, those same images can feel painful and out of reach. In fact, this season is likely stirring up loneliness, anxiety, and even dread.
If you’re newly separated or divorced, you’re not alone in how heavy this season feels. The traditions you used to share, the empty seat at the table, or the quiet house on Christmas morning—these things can cut deep. And yet, even in the pain, healing is possible. Many others have walked through these same emotions and come out stronger, with renewed hope and even peace.
Here are real stories from people who once stood where you are—and found their way forward.
“I wasn’t all by myself” : Finding comfort in shared experience
Chip’s story
When the holiday season began, Chip was feeling isolated and alone without his children. But after hearing about a DivorceCare Surviving the Holidays event, he decided to try it out.
“I think the most meaningful thing for me when I went to it,” Chip recalls, “was understanding that I wasn’t all by myself. That everybody was struggling with the same things during the holiday. Maybe being the first time away from your spouse, having that split in your family, and for me having my kids away from me during a holiday season.”
Chip speaks for many who attend a DivorceCare Surviving the Holidays seminar. The pain of separation and the shock of spending a special time of year without your spouse—or your children—can feel isolating. But walking into a room filled with people who truly understand your emotions can be the beginning of healing.
“Having a support group to understand, and the ability to talk to one another and have that common bond, was a great support,” he adds.
That shared space—where no one has to explain or defend how they’re feeling—can bring immediate relief and the beginning of peace.
“The holidays were horrible ... but the next Christmas season was way better.”
Alisa’s story
For Alisa, her first Christmas post-divorce was devastating. “The holidays were horrible,” she says. “I thought they would be fun. I had a Christmas Eve party at my house. But Christmas Day, after me and my family opened presents, I realized that I was here by myself alone. I was depressed and I cried and cried and cried.”
She describes it as the “worst day ever.”
That first year after a divorce often blindsides people with its emotional intensity. Grief can creep in even when the decorations are up and plans are made. It’s not always possible to “stay busy” or “keep cheerful” when your heart is broken.
But Alisa’s story didn’t end there.
“When the next year came,” she explains, “I said I’m not going to let myself get caught. I can’t do this every year. Thankfully DivorceCare happened to have a Surviving the Holidays event. I attended, and the next Christmas season was way better. I survived it, and so I was glad.”
That decision—to not walk the same lonely road again—led her to a place of hope. DivorceCare’s Surviving the Holidays event gave her not just tools to cope, but the perspective to rise above the pain.
“It was life-changing for me.”
Natalie’s story
Natalie’s words capture the deep spiritual and emotional transformation that can come from attending a Surviving the Holidays seminar.
“I would recommend to anyone who’s considering attending the Surviving the Holidays program that it’s well worth the two hours of their time,” she says. “It’s a wonderful place for people to come together and their hearts just to let go of some of their fears, let go of some of their feelings, and just embrace what God is truly trying to present to them.”
Natalie had been carrying anxiety, hurt, and pain—common burdens for anyone going through divorce. But during the seminar, she experienced a shift.
“It was so refreshing for me to be able to go to Surviving the Holidays and just to be able to freely let go of that and know that that’s what God wanted me to do.”
She adds, “It was life-changing for me, and I would recommend anyone who is hurting just to embrace it and enjoy the time out where no one’s going to be judged, no one’s going to be condemned for their status. They can just let go and let God take over.”
Natalie’s experience reminds us that Surviving the Holidays isn’t just practical—it’s healing. It’s about turning pain into purpose and fear into faith.
What to expect at a Surviving the Holidays event
Surviving the Holidays is a onetime, two-hour DivorceCare event designed to help those facing the holidays after divorce. The session includes a short video filled with expert advice and personal stories, time for group discussion, and a holiday Survival Guide that you can take home with you.
Whether you’re dreading a quiet house, managing awkward family dynamics, or trying to decide which traditions to keep or let go of, a Surviving the Holidays event gives you space, understanding, and a plan.
It’s not therapy—it’s real talk, real support, and real hope.
You can find an event near you at divorcecare.org/holidays, or check out a preview of what to expect at a group here:
A practical resource to carry with you—Survival Guide: Navigating the Holidays After a Separation or Divorce book
If you’re not ready to attend an event, the Surviving the Holidays book is a practical, faith-filled option designed specifically for those navigating this difficult season. It’s filled with bite-sized readings, questions for reflection, tips for handling social events, advice for dealing with kids and family, and Scriptures that speak to your heart in the midst of grief.
Reading the book at your own pace can help you make it through the season feeling strengthened and prepared for what’s to come.
You don’t have to face this season alone
If you’re hurting this holiday season, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. What you’re feeling is real, and it matters. But also know this: you don’t have to stay stuck in the pain. As Chip, Alisa, and Natalie each discovered in their own way, healing begins when you take one brave step toward hope.
This year, that step could be attending a Surviving the Holidays event. It’s just two hours—but it could change everything.
Visit divorcecare.org/holidays to find an event near you. Peace is possible. And you’re not alone.
